The 1 Way to Stop Making Mistakes

The other day I ran into a friend who just finished shooting a role in a major motion picture, and is about to star in a new Broadway show. Of course, I was so thrilled at this news and proud of my friend, but then the normal carousel of thoughts began.

Why aren’t I starring in a Broadway show? I should have gotten an audition for that movie. Maybe it’s my agent? Maybe it’s because I didn’t start my career as a child?

I could have been “discovered” like Elijah Wood or Macaulay Culkin. If only I had been on “The Mickey Mouse Club” like Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake, but my parents wouldn’t take me to the audition in Houston. I should have gone to Juilliard, then I could have followed a path similar to Finn Wittrock or Michael Urie or been best friends with Jason Robert Brown. Why did I take my Equity card so soon after college just to be in the ensemble? I would be playing leads now!

Then the thoughts moved from compare-and-despair to more negative thoughts, or what I perceive as negative. Perhaps I’m not good enough to play lead roles, get into Juilliard, and this is as good as it’s going to get. As my head started to spin the spiral of show business shame I caught myself. I took a step back to look at the thoughts and realized that these are all someone else’s path not mine.

There are no mistakes.

This is a difficult theory for us to accept when we just left an audition and it feels as if the song we sang fell on deaf ears. Or when we get feedback that we perceive as career threatening. Regret, remorse, and disappointment are all real feelings. But it’s when we release judgment of ourselves in these situations, that they become opportunities for us to learn.

When I say there are no mistakes, that doesn’t mean that you should go out and spend all your money on a trip to Disney World and still expect to pay the rent. The fact that no mistakes exist leaves us with only choices in this moment, here and now. There will be consequences to your choices, but by releasing judgment of our past and judgment of our future, we release all mistakes and are left with conscious choices. Choices bring us fully present in this moment.

As a career and life coach, the word I hear most often is “should.” When you hear yourself starting with the should’s, you are judging your choices. Take a moment to reframe. Ask yourself who told you this? What other words can you use besides should, or what if?

Here’s a few suggestions: want, going to, will. Observe how altering these words can change your perception and what you learn from the consequences of your choices.

In this moment, I choose to believe that I’m talented beyond belief, that my path is unique, valuable, and unlike anyone else’s path. I choose to believe that whatever I want in this world is possible if I’m willing to work for it.

What would you choose to believe if there are no mistakes?

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